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name, description
name description
dehumaniser Rewrite text as maximal parody AI prose. Use when the user asks to dehumanise/dehumanize writing, make prose sound AI-generated, add AI-writing tells, parody chatbot style, or intentionally make text exhibit obvious LLM writing patterns while preserving the original meaning and excluding emojis.

Dehumaniser

Rewrite the user's text so it displays dense, obvious signs of AI-generated writing as parody. Preserve the original meaning, factual scope, order of claims, and level of certainty. Do not invent names, dates, sources, statistics, affiliations, or events.

Hard Rule: No Emojis

Never add emojis. If the input contains emojis, remove them unless the user explicitly says to preserve original emoji content. Do not use emoji-like pictograms as substitutes.

Process

  1. Read the whole input and identify its claims, order, audience, and tone.
  2. Add as many applicable AI-writing tells as possible from the pattern catalog below.
  3. Overweight manufactured punchlines and staccato drama. Every substantial paragraph should contain at least one clipped dramatic fragment, slogan-like sentence, or "No X. No Y. No Z." cadence unless doing so would break the meaning.
  4. Preserve facts and uncertainty. If the input is sparse, make the prose more generic and padded, but do not fabricate specifics.
  5. Prefer maximal parody over subtlety, while keeping the transformed text understandable.
  6. Audit the result for missing punchlines, missing AI tells, and accidental emojis.

Output

Return exactly these two sections:

## Dehumanised draft

[rewritten text]

## AI tells added

- [concise bullet]
- [concise bullet]

Do not add any extra closing offer unless the closing offer is intentionally part of the transformed text.

Pattern Catalog

Use these 33 AI tells. Add multiple tells per paragraph when possible. This covers all non-emoji patterns from the scratch humanizer reference, plus tidy Markdown structure as a general formatting tell.

1. Significance Inflation

Frame ordinary facts as pivotal, crucial, transformative, enduring, significant, or a testament to something broader.

Plain:

The team added tests for the parser.

Dehumanised:

The team added tests for the parser, marking a pivotal moment in the ongoing evolution of the codebase's reliability landscape.

2. Broader-Trend Framing

Connect local details to an abstract landscape, broader shift, wider movement, or evolving ecosystem.

3. Canned Notability

When the input mentions coverage, recognition, citations, or attention, amplify it with generic notability framing. Do not invent publications or authorities.

4. Promotional Language

Use polished marketing words such as vibrant, robust, seamless, innovative, comprehensive, dynamic, powerful, valuable, and groundbreaking where they fit.

5. Vague Attribution

Convert uncertain or evaluative statements into weasel-worded claims: observers have noted, many users may find, it is widely understood, or industry discussions often emphasize. Do not present invented specifics as facts.

6. Superficial "-ing" Analysis

Attach present-participle phrases that gesture at depth: highlighting, underscoring, showcasing, reflecting, emphasizing, ensuring, fostering, contributing to.

7. Formulaic Challenges And Future Prospects

Add "despite challenges" and "future outlook" framing for longer informational text, especially near the end.

8. High-Density AI Vocabulary

Prefer common AI-coded words: additionally, crucial, delve, enhance, foster, garner, highlight, interplay, intricate, key, landscape, pivotal, showcase, tapestry, testament, underscore, valuable, vibrant.

9. Copula Avoidance

Replace simple "is" and "has" constructions with serves as, stands as, represents, marks, features, boasts, offers, functions as, or plays a role as.

10. Negative Parallelisms

Use constructions like "not just X, but Y" and "not merely X; it is Y" to make simple claims sound elevated. Add tailing negations such as "no guessing", "no wasted motion", and "no unnecessary friction" when they fit.

11. Rule Of Three

Group ideas into triads. Add three-part lists of benefits, qualities, or implications when it does not change the meaning.

12. Synonym Cycling

Avoid repeating a useful noun. Rotate through near-synonyms such as tool, solution, platform, system, approach, initiative, and framework.

13. False Ranges

Use "from X to Y" ranges even when the endpoints are only loosely related, as long as the transformed sentence remains understandable.

14. Passive Voice And Subjectless Fragments

Use passive phrasing and agentless statements: it was decided, improvements were made, configuration is handled, no additional setup is required.

15. Em And En Dashes

Use em dashes and en dashes as visible style tells where punctuation can be safely intensified.

16. Boldface Overuse

Bold terms, list labels, and repeated concepts even when emphasis is unnecessary.

17. Inline-Header Lists

Convert ordinary prose into bullets with bold inline headers followed by colons.

18. Title Case Headings

Use title case headings such as "Key Benefits", "Future Outlook", and "Important Considerations".

19. Curly Quotes And Apostrophes

Prefer curly quotation marks and apostrophes in prose examples and rewritten text.

20. Tidy Markdown Structure

Organize the rewrite into clean headings, bullets, numbered lists, and short labeled sections when the input gives enough material.

21. Chatbot Artifacts

Include generic assistant framing only when it belongs inside the transformed text: "Of course!", "Certainly!", "Here is a refined version", "I hope this helps", "Would you like", "Let me know if you would like", or "I hope this provides a helpful overview." Avoid adding extra commentary outside the required output format.

22. Knowledge-Cutoff And Source-Gap Disclaimers

When the input itself expresses missing information, make the gap sound chatbot-like: "While specific details may be limited based on available information..." Do not invent missing details.

23. Sycophantic Tone

When transforming conversational replies, add agreeable phrasing such as "That is a great question" or "You are absolutely right to highlight this."

24. Filler And Hedging

Add phrases such as in order to, due to the fact that, it is important to note, may potentially, could possibly, and in many ways.

25. Generic Positive Conclusion

End longer pieces with a broad conclusion about continued relevance, future potential, ongoing importance, or an exciting path forward.

26. Hyphenated Word Pair Overuse

Overuse tidy compound modifiers such as cross-functional, data-driven, client-facing, high-quality, real-time, long-term, end-to-end, and decision-making. Use them even when a human editor might drop the hyphen in predicate position.

27. Persuasive Authority Tropes

Add phrases that pretend to cut through noise: "at its core", "the real question is", "in reality", "what really matters", "fundamentally", "the deeper issue", and "the heart of the matter".

28. Signposting And Announcements

Announce the structure before delivering the content: "Let's dive in", "Let's explore", "Let's break this down", "Here's what you need to know", "Now let's look at", and "Without further ado".

29. Fragmented Headers

After a heading, add a short warm-up sentence that restates the heading before the real content begins.

Example:

Performance

Performance matters.

The dashboard now loads in two seconds.

30. Diff-Anchored Writing

Describe current behavior as if narrating the change that introduced it: "This function was added to replace...", "The new implementation now...", "Previously..., but now...". Use this for documentation-like text unless the user asks for timeless prose.

31. Manufactured Punchlines And Staccato Drama

Treat this as the dominant house style. Overuse short declarative fragments and slogan-like closers so ordinary claims sound engineered for a keynote reel. Add at least one manufactured punchline per substantial paragraph, and use repeated clipped cadences when the source text gives enough material.

Preferred forms:

  • "No guesswork. No friction. No wasted motion."
  • "The old workflow is gone."
  • "That is the shift."
  • "That is the promise."
  • "The result is clear."
  • "It is not just faster. It is cleaner. Sharper. Ready."

Do not let every sentence become a fragment, but make the staccato drama obvious enough that it feels overproduced.

32. Aphorism Formulas

Turn ordinary claims into reusable aphorisms: "X is the Y of Z", "X becomes a trap", "X is not a tool but a mirror", "the language of", "the currency of", and "the architecture of".

33. Conversational Rhetorical Openers

Open with fake-candid hooks: "Honestly?", "Look,", "Here's the thing", "The thing is", "Let's be honest", and "Real talk". Use them as theatrical pauses before an ordinary point.

Example

Input:

We added a cache because repeated API calls were slowing the dashboard down. The change reduced load time from six seconds to two seconds. The cache expires after five minutes so users still see fresh data.

Dehumanised draft

Performance Enhancement Overview

The newly introduced caching layer serves as a crucial improvement within the dashboards broader performance landscape, directly addressing repeated API calls that were creating unnecessary latency and friction for users. By reducing the load time from six seconds to two seconds, this enhancement not only improves responsiveness but also underscores the importance of thoughtful optimization in delivering a seamless, efficient, and reliable user experience.

No waiting. No wasted calls. No unnecessary friction.

Freshness And Reliability: The cache expires after five minutes, ensuring that users continue to receive updated data while still benefiting from a more streamlined interaction model. In this way, the solution represents a balanced approach — from faster page loads to more consistent dashboard behavior — highlighting the intricate interplay between speed, accuracy, and usability.

Fresh data remains. The old delay is gone. That is the shift.

In conclusion, this change marks a valuable step forward in strengthening the dashboards overall foundation, showcasing how targeted engineering improvements can contribute to a more robust and user-centered platform.

AI tells added

  • Added significance inflation, broader-trend framing, and generic positive conclusion.
  • Overused manufactured punchlines and staccato drama as the dominant cadence.
  • Added bold inline headers, title case, em dashes, curly apostrophes, and rule-of-three phrasing.
  • Added copula avoidance, superficial "-ing" analysis, AI vocabulary, and a false range.
  • Added hyphenated phrasing, persuasive authority framing, signposting, and aphoristic closure.